Got It!!!
I found out the underlying problem. I think. I am not going to sit here and tell the full story, but to make things short, my bf isn’t happy with my eating habits, nor my new body. I am NOT scary skinny. I am 127 and 5′6″… I have love handles. I have jiggly thighs. I am not over weight, not even close, but I am content with the way I look. I am happy. He thinks I look disgusting. He looks at every girl that passes by. He shows me no affection any more. He says I’m too thin. When I got alittle bit deeper into the situation, I realized that he is subconciously self consious(are u keeping up with me? lol). He is 290, hates his body, wishes everyday that he loses weight, but won’t change his eating habits. Actually fights with me when I tell him to put down the donuts….
What have I been doing? Subconciously trying to make myself gain weight in order to make him feel better about himself. No more! I am happy with the way I look today. It is bad enough that I allow others to break me down in other ways. This is something I worked so hard to accomplish. Today it ends. Tomorrow I get back on track. No more eating after a certain time(to avoid night binging).
I am glad I found out the situation. Funny how things can be happening right in front of you, but you wont see whats going on until you sit and stare at a wall for an hour or two. lol. I love him…. but I have to love ME more. How dare I try and hurt myself on behalf of someone elses lack of confidence. How dare I?
I pick myself up again. I start to fight again. He will not win… No way, No how.
that is right you ahve to stand up for you because if you don’t who will… stay strong and don’t let anyone bring you down….
That is a tough thing and it was brave of you to not only figure it out but admit…out loud. Have you talked to your BF about it? It may be something he doesnt even realize he is doing….
I think you are awesome though to be so determined to figure out why you are doing something you don’t want to do…
Great job!
Hey girlie, my b/f is the same. He tells me that he loves me the way I am, and would be happier if I gained some pounds! I cant tell him I’m on a diet because he would go mad. I think we have to do what makes us happy. We have to live in these bodies, so we should make sure our bodies feel good and healthy to us.