What happened to me?
I was doing so good… then my bf murdered my diet. I usually pick myself right back up the very next day, but today I didn’t. Today I woke up with the thought, and it didn’t last very long. I ate a normal bkfst and headed to Manhattan. Then I started to get hungry. Another odd thing, I lied to my bf and told him I didn’t eat bkfst. What made me do that? I knew that it would be easier to eat whatever I wanted if I lied. Weird because he doesn’t want me losing weight. So why lie? After I told him that, he said I should eat something and of course, I said “oh, your right. Look! Burger King!”. We walked some more, and came across a hot dog stand. Intending to just buy a Diet Coke, I decide to order a chicken shishkobob. Walked some more, came home… and bought a banana(my only healthy choice today). As I was sitting here alone, I felt like a sandwich so I took my ass to the store and bought a turkey and cheese. As I write this, I am eatting a wheat roll with butter.
Is it anxiety? I don’t know what’s causing me to be so reckless. It isn’t like me. One screw up is fine, but two days in a row? I know what I am doing and I tell myself NO, but then I go and do it anyway. Depression is starting to kick in. My jean’s are tight on my waist again, and I just said the day before Yesterday how loose they fitted me. They where baggy! Now, they are so tight. Two day’s. What damage.
Where is the strong me? Did she go on vacation for 2 day’s? If so she need’s to hurry the hell up and come back home because I cannot keep doing this. I feel so horrible and guilty. I keep asking myself why I am doing this, but then I don’t think twice to go in the kitchen and eat more. What the hell?
In the past two day’s I must have consumed over 5000 calories. I know I did. Last week That’s what I had in 5 days. I ate 5 days worth of food in 2 day’s.
What will happen tomorrow? Can I sit my ass back on the train or am I going to watch it pass me by? I hope I get on that train. I am so upset and anxious, but it is me who is doing this to myself.
I need an ass kicking. BAD!!!
<~ My ass kicking… I am that much further from having this to look at in the mirror.
OK, it ends now. You have given yourself 2 days off, you ate what you wanted and now it’s hurting you (psychologically more than physically I would guess). Either way. It’s time to stop. The only way to get back on plan is to plan tomorrow carefully and have all your food and exercise ready and waiting. Don’t beat yourself up anymore. Just hop on the train!!
*ass kicking time* hehe
Seriously…you screwed up those two days…it’s okay, we all do it. Get on top of your eating plan tomorrow and stick to it, no more beating yourself up about it. You CAN do this!
Obviously no one is ever perfect. Try to look at the things you did that were positive, even if it’s small. You obviously were able to recognize your habits were changing very quickly. Some people may fall off the wagon for weeks or months before they decide to get back on track. Definitely don’t get down on yourself about it though. That will do more damage than the calories. Maybe it was just the boost your metabolism needed. Or maybe you are not eating quite enough. 5000 calories in 5 days is a little shy of what you need to eat to get your minimal nutritional needs. I have read in several places that 1200 calories should be the bare minimum for a day. Maybe eating a little more everyday will prevent another slip. Good luck!
It looks like you werent eating enough calories for a while, and then your body basically went “hey buddy…. I’m starving here… FEED ME!” and you had no choice but to give it the thing it needed most - carbs, protein and fat. Are you getting enough of these in your diet normally?
I know that when I want to binge out on pizza, all I’m really craving is the protein from the cheese on the pizza. So I get myself some low fat mozzerella and eat it with a chopped tomatoe and a tsp of olive oil.
Have another look at your diet. Make sure youre getting enough protein and fibre (at least 25g per day). It’s the best way to keep you feeling fuller for longer. To help with cravings, take a good multivitamine and maybe talk to your doctor about taking a Chromium suplliment. It helps stabilise your blood sugar and keep cravings at bay.
Hope this helps!
It definitely sounds like you weren’t eating enough the last few weeks. Have you tried using the Food Journal on this website to track your calories? I’m finding it very helpful as it lets you know where you stand for the day and if you’re in a good calorie range.
Hey, we all screw up….you are not alone. I screw up shoot sometimes for 4 or 5 days at a time.
Today is a new day - start fresh and get back on track.
You can do it!
