CrAzYlAdY :p

http://www.buddyslim.com/Baby0Phat 

 NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE, NEW FAMILY, NEW GOALS, NEW ME= NEW PROFILE!!

ADD ME!!!

I overcame my fear of the gym. I did it!!!

Once I was in, it was as if I had been a regular. What had stopped me from going so many times? What pulled me back? Why was I so intimidated? It was crazy. Funny thing is, I love my gym. That’s why I kept my membership going so many months even though I wasn’t actually going. I knew that I would not find another gym that suited me as well as this one does.

It was kind of packed today, but I had fun. I bumped into an old friend and we shared a very short conversation. I cannot be distracted while on the treadmill. The treadmill is like my lover at that moment. I’m focusing on my body, on the way my legs and thighs move, the way my feet hit the bottom, the position of my back and shoulders, on my breathing and my heart rate. I only ran for 5 1/2 minutes total today lolz… It does sound funny but I was doing it increments of 1 minute, 30 seconds. My main work out is inclining, which is every other 5 minutes, hitting 10.5- 12 percent inclines for 45 minutes.

Question: Why do I feel like I am going pee myself while I am on an incline. Even towards the end, when I lowered the incline and was doing my cool down I had to cut it short cause I thought I was going to pee on myself! Is that normal? Do you guys experience that at all or do I just have a weak bladder???

Oh and my fellow wildcats opened my eyes to this… Thanks Anj and Nancy

Its been almost 18 days since I quit smoking. If I didn’t quit when I did, I would have smoked 445 cigarettes since then…. Last but not least, I have saved 212 dollars!!!!

Thanks buddies!!

♥Hugs♥

Well, as most of you know, I have made changes to my routine and its been going well. I am not worried about calories, well I am but I don’t calculate them anymore :). I’ve been allowing myself to eat whatever I want, I don’t tell myself I’m trying to lose weight, I’m telling myself that I am simply being healthy. “Screw the weight loss, think about your health”.

So, has it been working? YES. I don’t feel the need to binge at all. When I see a donut or something that looks oh so scrumptious, I ask myself… “You want it? Then eat it” and I DONT! I don’t sit there with my mouth watering and feeling all depressed about it, I just walk away and shrug my shoulders. Why be upset and down about it? If I wanted it that bad, if it were that important to me, I’d eat it.

I was reading my Cosmo magazine and it striked something very interesting to me…. Having sex on top can burn around 140-150 calories in just a half hour, it also tones your glutes and core. Uhm… HELLO!!! What the hell have I been doing? I have to admit, it isn’t my favorite position, hubby is kinda big(I’m talking about his weight rofl) and being on top can be frustrating… I’m more of a “on all fours” kind of gal(sorry, I know tmi!!), but uh…from now on, it is soooo ON! Yah Babaayyyy!! ROFL

Another thing to think about…. Sleep! I’ve mentioned it before to many people but I keep seeing  posted blogs about lack of sleep!! Not only has lack of sleep been linked to stress, aging and weight gain, but a recent study found that women who get less than 7 hours of sleep have a 47% higher chance of developing cancer! WHY ARE YOU NOT SLEEPING??? If you are having that much of an issue falling asleep, talk to your doctor about prescribing something to you… but please, get those Z’s in people!

Today is supposed to be gorgeous out. In the sixties! Which means plenty of walking and running. For now I have to get my full body workout in and hop in the shower (pray I don’t sprain my ankle heehee). Tomorrow I’m heading back to the Gym, I know Ive been saying that for sooo long but I’m really serious this time!! Well, you’ll see tomorrow when I blog about my awesome day and how much I missed it

 I hope all of you enjoy the remainder of your weekend(only a few hours left!!!).

♥~Hugs~♥

Okay… tired of the maintaining!!! As most of you know, my issue isn’t that I can’t stay away from the fattening foods… Its that I can’t stop eating, even if its the good foods. I am a binger. In many cases people consider it to be an eating disorder but I must take control of it, take control of my life. So I’ve changed my eating habits over the past few years, I cut out a lot of the bad stuff. No red meat, not too many sugars, more greens, more fiber, more grain. I lost a lot in the beginning but as stated in my last blog, I gained a lot back and I CANNOT shake it.

Here’s what I have planned for the following week. I AM switching things up a bit. I will not be counting calories. I know, I know :O, I look at it this way; Counting calories sometimes leaves me feeling the need to either eat more when I’m not hungry(to catch up) or to eat less(which makes me feel deprived). I know good food choices, I know bad ones. So, this week only… I will not be counting calories. I’ll simply eat when I’m hungry. I’ll make the right choices and portion my food wisely.

Another thing I am going to be focusing on more is running. I walk, I jog but I have been slacking off majorly in the running department. So, I will be looking into buying a stop watch tomorrow so I can start challenging myself with running times.

Hopefully, this will work and I will break the plateau, and free myself of this 149 mark. I’m also going to be measuring my body and posting it on this blog later.

Only 11 weeks till summer!!! I have got to get a move on it!

Thanks you guys for all the advice… Maybe my maintaining was due to my maintaining.

It is a pain in the butt to not lose when you are trying so hard… To all my buddies who are going through what I am going through… Keep on keeping on!!! Fight harder, switch things up, make yourself stronger… It is inevitable for our bodies to shed fat if we are working out and limiting fat intake. Its a matter of science. Nothing more and nothing less. My body is probably in need of a beat down rofl, the walks and “jogs” aren’t doing it for my legs anymore. Time to work em harder!!!

 Ok… So I work hard for most of the week, only to see the same number I saw last week. How am I maintaining for this long? I don’t understand it. This means that what I have been doing for the past few weeks is what I will have to stick with when I reach my goal. This is hard for me. I mean what am I doing wrong? I don’t see it. I don’t get it. I’m confused, stumped and I kind of feel lost. I am missing something. I just don’t know what it is. I lost 8 pounds the first two weeks of starting my habits again… then I gained 2 pounds a few weeks ago. Now I cant shake it!

Yes, I know a number is just a number but it is my reference on my weight loss.  One of my goals is to hit a certain number…I haven’t been able to shake the upper 140’s for the longest now. Straight pissing me off!!!!!

(What the hell is she so worried about???)

Whats a girl to do? Double the work out? I think I may have to. What else could I possibly do? I’m not going to eat less, I only take in 120o-1300 a day. I’m gonna start calculating my measurements today… Gotta look for my tape.

I developed some pics I had from a camera I bought last spring. Depressing. Very, very depressing. I let myself go. Shouldn’t have done that. Smh.

♥Wildcats, Good luck this week!! We can do it!!♥

♦Yumika-You are close girl♦

To all my buddies… Goodluck this weekend, be safe, be good and be healthy

~HUGS & SMOOCHES~

I didn’t give in last night…. I went to bed, got super comfortable and forced myself to sleep… Woke up this morning and thankfully the food was gone!!! Woohoo!! Bye bye temptation!

 Okay, I wasn’t supposed to blog tonight. Thing is, I’m having a really hard time right now and I need the support not only for tonight but more importantly tomorrow. You see, my mother knows how much I love her home made mac n cheese (*mouth waters*). She doesn’t ask… She tells me earlier “you are going to eat some of this for dinner, I’m putting a plate away for you” Huh? “No..thanks, but no.” I responded.

Momma didn’t like that idea too much. She sat there and bickered until finally giving up. I successfully passed up the temptation. When I got home tonight though, I open the fridge for a bottle of water and there it is…. LEFTOVERS!!! To top it off, there’s a post it with my name on it. So not right. I of course, in a fit of rage, took the note and threw it in the garbage. Those damn macaroni’s are calling my name…. Still are, I hear them. I feel like they are not going to leave me alone. I’ve been “binge sober” for a while now. I can’t do it tonight. I can’t slip. So I’ve been in my bedroom, door locked, mouth watering, downing water by the Liters, sucking on candy, doing everything in my power to get it out of my  mind!!! I caught myself pouting a few minutes ago… Like a child who wanted a toy and couldn’t have it….

I am sooo craving it and I’m a little upset and disappointed that my mother would want to sabotage my health goals. I know tomorrow is weigh in so I doubt I’m going to give in. I just hope this isn’t going to be another one of those situations where I try so hard to shake the cravings for so long that I end up freaking out and binging. Nah, I don’t think so. I hope not. Why am I craving it so bad? I dunno….

Why is it sooo much harder to say NO to real food than it is saying NO to junk food. Damn it… I pass up donuts all the time… No problem!! My mom bought cake and I have no desire to eat any!!! Now that mac n cheese…. Dammit, It’s killing me…. I have to lay down before I end up hurting myself.

Night buddies~~

Cats~~ Good Luck with tomorrows weigh in!!!!!!!!!

Say it. That’s all it takes. I read somewhere today, “Instead of giving yourself reasons why you can’t, give yourself reasons why you can”. When I run, I get tired very fast. I slow down but I keep on going until my BODY can no longer go. I never let my mind determine whether or not I can keep on going. My feet hurt, they wont stop unless you tell them too, keep on going. My back hurts, it won’t break, keep on going. I cant breathe, inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth, you won’t stop breathing. My body eventually slows down on its own. When I realize this, my feet hit the pavement hard and I then stop hopping and bring it to a walk or a jog. 

For every reason as to why you cannot do something, there is a reason as to why you CAN, why you SHOULD and why you NEED TO.

I haven’t been back to the gym. Is there a legitimate excuse? Yes, but I CAN still work out, and I DO. There isn’t an “I can’t work out because I can’t get to the gym… I get on my ball and do my crunches, I put on my waste band and do some squats, get on my knees and do some hydrants, I go outside and run, I pick up my weights and I lift. The only time there is an “I can’t”, is when it is accompanied by an “I don’t want to”. Injured? It is my understanding that the inured should be rehabilitated, which consists on certain exercises.

Talk about mixed emotions! This morning I woke to an awesome workout I did at home. Tomorrow I start the gym again and I just tried to get my body in the kick of things. I had fun with my ball but had a hard time balancing on it. I was shaking while doing my crunches but it just meant that more of my body was doing work as well so I kind of appreciated it.

Towards the end of the night hubby and I got into a not so good conversation about my goals. I thought it would be a good idea to let it out and tell him how I feel. I figured if he knew how badly I wanted this, he would offer me some more emotional support and be more positive about my weight loss. It didn’t turn out that way. Instead, in the middle of a very busy store… He says to me loudly “You don’t need to lose weight, you need to see a therapist”. Ha-ha. Okay, so at this point every one turns their head and all eyes are on me. Humiliation!!!

I’m not comfortable in my own skin right now. I don’t think I have a self esteem issue because the only reason I don’t like the way I look now is due to the fact that I AM overweight and out of shape. When I hit my goal last year I felt better than ever, conceited is a better way to describe how I felt about myself. Now, I cringe. I know I’m not obese, hubby was trying to say that I saw myself that way and I don’t. I know what I look like, my vision isn’t impaired. I’m chunky, plump…but regardless its just a way of saying slightly overweight, which is still OVERWEIGHT! Granted, I know there are lots of people who wish they had my body. The problem is that I don’t like what I see in the mirror. I can’t even go clothes shopping without getting depressed. I gained weight. I’m not where I want to be, I’m not where I belong. How do I explain this to him? I’ve tried so many times… Our relationship even went sour when I DID hit my goal weight last time, all I can hope for is that it doesnt happen again.

Tomorrow is making me anxious. I’m heading back to the college to see once again, about my fafsa. They said 3 weeks, I gave it four. Wanna know what their excuse will be this time. It’ll be my third time going back because they keep giving me the run around :(.

I’m also going back to the gym which has me really excited. I’m gonna take it slow. I hate falling off the gym wagon. I hate falling off of any wagon lolz. Well, I can’t wait to wear my new running sneaks. I’m already packed and ready to go…. Oh, I also go tanning! (I know, I know… So bad for me but I do it moderately if it counts for anything)

I know its Monday and its every ones not so favorite day of the week but its one day closer to reaching your goals so try and be positive about it. Play hard buddies!! Wish me luck for tomorrow!! Hugs to all of you!!!

Well, unfortunately I didn’t get my walking at the park in today. I did do awesome on my food intake… I actually went to the mall to do some shopping and get fully prepared for the gym on Monday. I have to, HAVE TO make sure that there will be no excuses on Monday. So, with the 70 bucks I saved(not buying cigs for 7 days!!!) I went out and bought a pair of running sneakers for the gym. The shoe does matter when your running, even if it’s on a treadmill. Your poor feet deserve to be comforted with the appropriate shoe. I picked up a pedometer also, so no more approximating my distance when I’m at the park or taking a walk in my neighborhood.

Anyway, I also bought my exercise ball!!! I used to have one many years ago. I don’t know what took me so long to get another one. I think its a must to have at home. My crunches are going to be so much more fun now!!! Its also great to do some stretching on~~ Only one problem….. I’ve been pumping it for an hour now and its only like half full. I think I did a full tricep workout already.

I forgot to pick up my multivitamins. I haven’t taken them in sooo long, I’ve kind of become afraid of pills over the past year or so. Its even hard for me to take pain killers sometimes, I have to be in an extreme amount of pain. I think I’m just paranoid, so its on my to do list for tomorrow, picking up my centrum.

So I’ve been going through some tough cravings today but thankfully I made it through. I just kept guzzling my water and imagining the beach. I’m deciding to carry a picture around of me at my weight of 125, taken last summer. Every time I get a craving… I’m gonna look at it and remind myself why I’m giving up the junk and eating the healthy stuff.

Tomorrow is Sunday and although for most it’s relaxation day, for me it’s workout harder day. I’m gonna especially have fun with my ball!!! Have a good night buddies!!!

 !*~Hugs~*!

Okay… Here we go again! So last week was dark, foggy and cold. Quitting all together, especially cold turkey is the hardest thing I have ever had to follow through with. The worst part lasted about 4 or 5 days. Tomorrow makes a week. I think I’m smooth sailing now.

Yesterday I was bad again, this time I didn’t stop at one meal… I kept going into a full binge. It’s over now though. I kicked my ass this morning with a harsh workout and did pretty good food wise despite the cravings. Tom showed up this afternoon and he is really beating me down! I feel like utter crap, which is normal. I probably wont be blogging again until Sunday night.

I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend and make sure you take extra good care of yourself!!! Love yourself!!

Wildcats~~ We can do this! Pounce on your goals!!!

My main goal is to drop 2 pounds by Friday morning, which will bring me back down to 147……….. Walking/jogging everyday and start incorporating squats, push ups and crunches into routine at the park(who cares who’s looking!!! Just do it!)………… Get to the gym on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Buy ankle weights and a workout ball………..No weighing of body until Friday morning!!!